2nd to None

I had a rather interesting interaction with a couple of my second grade students yesterday, one that really warmed my heart.

After PE, one of the girls came up to me to bring up some of her frustrations with a friend. In short, she felt like her friend had been a bit too assertive and was leaving her out as of late. Furthermore, she was worried that her friend would react badly if she brought it up. She grew teary-eyed and emotional as she poured it all out.

As much as I wanted to just tell her the answer to her problems or fix it for her, I had to treat this the same way I treat school work: If you just give someone the answer, they’ll never learn for themselves. So instead, I did my best to guide her to it.

I offered to sit in and facilitate if she wanted to bring up the issue to her friend, be there as support for the discussion. Of course, I know most adults would shy away from a confrontation of that sort. It’s much easier to keep the status quo and complain about people behind their backs. However, this girl made the brave decision of going with it.

I called the friend over and pulled out chairs for each of us. Once I explained that the girl had something to say, I sat back and let her take the lead. The girl relayed to her friend what she told me, bringing up her concerns calmly and politely. Her friend sat and listened to her all the way through. I didn’t say anything until the girl was done.

Once she did finish, I asked the friend if she understood what she was saying. She said she did and that, despite the fact that this was the first time someone had ever called her out on her behavior like this, she felt oddly good. Both girls described a weight lifted off their chests, like they could breathe easier now.

We talked about how communication was key in friendships, that along with sharing and celebrating our victories with each other, we also have to share our concerns and find solutions to those problems together. If we don’t tell someone they’ve angered us, they won’t know they’ve done something wrong and will keep doing what hurts us. The more that happens, the angrier we get until all that festering results in a ruined friendship.

It’s interesting to note that the girl who was worried about confronting her friend had, a few days prior, presented me with a Would You Rather question: Would you rather spend five minutes in fear or a lifetime with regret? I think it’s safe to assume she picked the former. She chose to risk five minutes of fear and address her friend’s behavior instead of living with a potentially broken relationship for the rest of her life, and this girl is in second grade.

These two showed incredible maturity in how they handled the situation. The first girl was courageous with her choice and gentle with her words. Her friend listened without growing defensive or lashing back. I hope these girls’ keep this event in mind, and that their relationship grows stronger from it. I also hope that their story is a beacon of hope and inspiration for those who need it.