Button Mashed

At church a few weeks ago, our pastor was giving a riveting sermon about faith, how it’s living like something has already happened instead of just hoping something will come to pass. It had all the passion and well-researched reason you’d expect from a charismatic preacher.

However, during one of the high points of the sermon, he said something that completely took me out of the message. Here it is, nearly word for word:

“You’re hoping that God will lead you to a godly young woman, but you don’t do anything about it? That’s just wishful thinking. Get a haircut, shave more than twice a week, put down the video games, get a job, get out of your mom’s basement, and build something with your life!”

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not making a jab at my pastor. I fully understand the point he was making. But within the statement he made, I can’t help but wonder:

Why is it that whenever someone describes an immature young man, video games are always the target activity? Why video games, specifically? What makes gaming such a convenient scapegoat for the topic of immaturity?

First, let’s try to figure out where the anti-gaming group stands and what could justify their reasoning. A common concern brought up about video games is that they’re highly addictive, which stands to reason. Television, computer, and phone screens flash at a rate that intentionally draws your eyes to them. They’re designed to grab your attention. Couple that with bright colors and fast-paced action, it’s little wonder that kids can sit in front of their devices for hours on end when that’s their main source of stimulation.

Of course, that’s where the issue lies: how kids behave with video games. For young children, who haven’t learned self-control and how to pace themselves, they’ll get absorbed into whatever activity entertains them most. Having fun at the park? They’ll kick and scream when it’s time to go home. Love eating ice cream? They’ll sulk when they can’t have any more. Kids are programmed for instant gratification, and they must be taught to be self-disciplined.

These addictive behaviors can be groomed out of them, so long as they receive proper instruction. Unfortunately, many parents nowadays use tablets and smartphones like high-tech pacifiers. Instead of attending to their kids when they start acting up, they’ll give them the electronics to placate them. Then the kids start to make the connection: electronics make everything better, so I need as much of them as possible.

It’s little wonder that kids have smaller attention spans these days. They’re so used to the appeal of their screens and engaging with them so often that classroom instruction bores them. Some of my co-teachers shared that parents have requested more reading assignments for their kids so that they spend less time on their electronics.

As crazy as it sounds coming from a teacher, more homework is not the solution for the lack of self-control at home. The first teachers children will ever have are their parents. Use electronics as a reward, not the everyday activity. Take the time to teach them properly, and do so early on. That way, they won’t grow up unable to exert self-control as immature young adults.

Yes, over-fixation on video games, to the point of indulging in them every chance available, is a sign of immaturity, both in young men and young women. The main reason playing video games are brought up first is because those are what present-day children are doing.

However, video games are not the only things people indulge in that show signs of immaturity.

Take this comic by Ryan Kramer:

Notice the similarities? I couldn’t tell you the number of times my mom would hear me cheering with my online friends when we beat a raid in Destiny 2 while my dad is cheering for the Warriors just down the hall.

Video games, in and of themselves, are not bad things. When used in moderation, video games improve hand-eye coordination, reaction times, and problem solving. Some games do a better job at teaching than most school curriculum (looking at you, Common Core). In the tutorials for most games, they introduce new mechanics one step at a time that build upon the previous steps.

A good example would be the game It Takes Two, a puzzle-platformer where two players must work together to clear each level. Players are introduced to the basic controls (move, jump, etc.), and once those are mastered, new mechanics, specific to each level’s theme and location, are slowly added at a comfortable pace.

Now, there are a couple of key words necessary for recreational activities, including gaming: in moderation. There is a fine line between healthy time spent and over-indulgence. A mature adult will know how to stay on one side of the line without slipping onto the other.

Video games are not the only activity that can reveal someone’s immaturity. Sports are fun to play and watch, but too much time spent there takes away from your other responsibilities. Drinking alcohol isn’t bad (Jesus had it at Passover and provided it during a wedding celebration), but drinking too much can lead to alcoholism and health problems. Even obsessive reading can be a sign of immaturity. If you doubt that, ask your book-loving friend if they ever have enough shelf space.

So, if almost any activity can be a sign of immaturity, not just video games, how can we be more mature as adults?

Ultimately, it all comes down to balance.

Having passions and hobbies is good. Healthy, even. However, they need to be balanced with your other duties. We have responsibilities to our families, to our friends, to society, and to ourselves. We have to cook meals for the kids, hang out with friends, pay our bills, and work to earn our daily wages. We have to include rest into the mix, because having time to recharge is a part of that work-life balance. It’s tough to juggle all of those and our hobbies, but it’s not impossible.

That’s where mature self-discipline comes in. We can treat our hobbies like rewards, indulging in them at the end of the day or after work is done. I see my jobs as funding my passions. Video games have been getting more expensive over the years, and although writing is technically a cost-free activity, I do need to pay for advertising and cover designs. It’s all about balance.

So, next time you feel the need to single out gamers when talking about immaturity, ask yourself: is there anything in your life right now that’s out of balance, that reveals your own immaturity?